“I’d like to say we gave it a try
I’d like to blame it all on life
Maybe we just weren’t right, but that’s a lie
Almost is never enough
So close to being in love
If I would have known that you wanted me
The way I wanted you
Then maybe we wouldn’t be two worlds apart
But right here in each other’s arms
And we almost knew what love was
But almost is never enough.”
Up at 3am… Just laying here watching Sex and the City. Wondering where is my head, my heart. And both of them for once are in the same place with thinking and feeling everything for Julio. I’m getting to the point where I don’t ever want to talk about him or think about him anymore. Just hearing your name is like someone stabbing me in the heart and twisting it, and I’m alive for every amount of pain. However when I lay in bed at night I lay here thinking how I could have let my self… I feel in love and what I could’ve done or said differently in every situation.
I know at one point he loved me too… but I messed up somewhere along the way I will always regret it. I will always love him.
I know he’s happy now with the love of his life Shelly… I know I have to let him go and move on, but everything still hurts. BUT life goes on. I’ll get through this. I hope.
What could I have done differently for him to be mine? I never get the guy I want… he was so honest with me all the time. And I just played out this whole love story in my head. He was and is everything I could ask for in a man and I thank God every day for sending him to me. He was my Guardian Angel and no one will ever take that away from me. The day I asked him to meet me at Holiday Park I had so many questions. Right now for the life of me I can’t remember one of them but one…
Why was I never good enough for you Julio?
All I wanted was to be happy and it would have been absolutely amazing if I could have spent the rest of my life continuously being happy with him. He is happy tho with Her and I wish them nothing but the best because that’s what friends do they let go of the one thing they love the most to make their friend happy even if it breaks your heart.